I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
