If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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