I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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