Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
