He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
