Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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