if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
