youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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