; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
