I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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