SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
