Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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