It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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