The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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