Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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