From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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