I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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