i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
