I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
