i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
