I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
