I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
