my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
