When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
