oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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