he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
