3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
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