It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
