I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize