All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
