i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
