Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
