omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize