Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize