That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
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We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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