WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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