Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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