Your tits are I can't wait for
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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