Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i came on her dog
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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