Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
