Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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