two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
