hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
