so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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