My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
