I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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