I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
