and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
