the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
