doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
