I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize