That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize