there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
