Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How does one acquire holy water?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
