Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
