Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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