dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
