OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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