sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
