I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
