yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
