P.S. I can't hear my feet
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
my poor anus
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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