Just took my morning after pill in the library
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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